Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
