I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
