By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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