David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
