Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We need to get me chipped asap
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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