You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
