I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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