i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.