Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least