I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
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I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
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I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.