I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.