Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
