How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
