What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My liver just had a heart attack.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
