I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
