So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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