Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
