i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
