Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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