all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize