I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We're too hungover to prance.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
