Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
