Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
