did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
