Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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