she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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