You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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