so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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