Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
