She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You are the jesus of drinking
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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