Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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