I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
