whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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