would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
