I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
