Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
