Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
