ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
