Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
