Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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