Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
