What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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