My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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