Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
