I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize