And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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