so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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