me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
