but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
