Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
