Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
