9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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