you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize