I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
