Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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