Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
