And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
