Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
