I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
