i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
