The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
