I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
operation harelip BJ is a go
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
