I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
