I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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