My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
