I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
