i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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