Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
