I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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